Kishen’s guilt trip for being a madarchod

In the next few days, after the circle dispersed, something snapped inside Kishen. He remained reserved. Inside the house or outside, Kishen always appeared to be lost in thought. When inquired about his self-seclusion, he’d say with a (fake) smile that he was doing fine.

But clearly, something bothered him. It concerned his parents, as well as Usha and Ramesh, when they were told about it. Savi and Usha approached Manoj sir on the 7th evening after the circle had dispersed.

“He is reeling from all that he has been through. He will be fine. Give him his space and time,” opined the ‘all-knowing’ Manoj sir.

“That’s what even we thought. But it’s been 7 days now. He has not even spoken much yet,” says Savi.

“Yes, and Neetu (Usha’s daughter) didn’t show this behaviour when she joined our circle. And even Prateek (Neetu’s husband) or GeetaMa (Neetu’s MIL) never had any issue like this,” says Usha.

“Well, Neetu had caught us in the act. She’d suspected things for long. We all know how bold and horny she always has been. And took her own time to bring Prateek and his mother into the circle. She’s been priming them for it, even without them knowing. Kishen, on the other hand, discovered us unexpectedly and had to keep it all to himself for a while,” reasons Manoj sir.

“Correct, I think we need to give him his space and slowly get him to talk,” says Deepti, Manoj sir’s wife.

“Sunil and I tried many times to initiate a conversation. He barely responds. Yesterday, I even knocked on his door before bedtime and reminded him about our panty box to sniff and relieve himself. He was not interested. Boys his age should be pleasuring themselves every day, right?” says Savi.

“Did he show any sexual interest or signs to you? Or any of the ladies?” asks Manoj sir.

Everyone looks at Savi, the mother.

“No…I was also not quite in the mood after we all dispersed,” Savi says.

“What is he doing now?” asks Manoj sir.

“He is in his room, locked in by himself,” Savi responds.

“Is Sunil there in the house?” asks Deepti.

“Yes, he reached a while back from work and is probably settled on the couch.”

“Then come, let’s all go try and talk to Kishen,” Manoj sir recommends. “Usha, bring Ramesh (Usha’s husband) also if he is free.”

“I will drag him even if he is not free,” jokes Usha.

Locked in his room, Kishen sat at his study table. He stared blankly at one of his textbooks. Usha’s knocks on his door brought him back to his senses.

“What are you doing?” asked a grinning Usha aunty when Kishen opened the door. Standing next to her was Manoj sir. Behind them stood Savi, Sunil, Deepti and Ramesh.

“Nothing… I was studying…” responds Kishen, surprised but visibly disinterested towards everyone’s presence.

“May we come in, beta?” asked Manoj sir.

“Sure.”

Having Kishen sit on his chair, which was dragged towards the centre of the room, the group arched in front of him.

“What’s going on, Kisehn?” Usha asked, breaking the prolonged silence after everyone had settled down.

“Nothing.”

“C’mon, open up, Kishen. We are very concerned and want to help you.”

For a long time, Kishen hesitated to open up. But the group continued to persuade him until he finally gave in.

“I don’t know how to say it. But I fucked my Mom. Who does that?!? I have literally become a bloody madharchod. I feel so guilty and ashamed,” Kishen confesses.

The room goes silent.

“I struggle to look at Mom in the eye. I feel like running away for good. The world seems different. I am a bad person.”

“Would you call your mother a bad person? Because she was in it as much as you were, right?” asks Usha.

Looking down at the floor, Kishen doesn’t say anything. Savi begins to worry that her son has started to loathe her.

“Answer me, Kishen!”

“I don’t know!”

“You don’t know?!?” intervenes Manoj sir. “OK then, tell me this: do you think your mother raised you right? Did she care for you? Did she look after your well-being?”

“Yes! But…”

“But what?!? Tell us, did she force you to fuck her? Did she even persuade you?”

“Please stop saying ‘I fucked her.’ I understand. She is not a bad person. But I am the mother fucker. My relationship with her seems so ruined,” Kishen says and starts to tear up. The group then notices even Savi beginning to weep.

“Kishen’s mind has conjured hatred towards himself and possibly towards all of us,” says Manoj sir, looking at everyone.

“No, I still like and respect you all,” he responds, “including you, Mom. Please don’t cry. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he says to Savi. “It’s just that sometimes I just get so overwhelmed by what I did. I mean, who the fuck fucks their Mom?” he spoke out.

“Son, we know how you feel. What’s bothering you is a dilemma, and you’re just too stuck on one side of it,” says Manoj sir. “With your current state of mind, no matter how much we try to show you the broader perspective, you will not accept it.”

“What is the damn ‘broader perspective,’ Manoj sir? That it’s OK for guys to fuck their moms?” Kishen replies.

“Well, not actually. It all comes down to one thing – shared consent on free will,” responds Manoj sir.

“We all go by the philosophy that one can do what they want as long as it brings no one any harm,” Deepti adds.

“It’s natural to feel conflicted after plunging into sex the way you’ve done and committing incest. But you also have to take into account the scenario it took place in. Beyond being confined to the roles of son, mother, father, and daughter, the souls in the room that day were engaging in a safe, trusting, harmless, and consensual carnal indulgence. Try to see it that way.” lectures Manoj sir.

“You weren’t a pervert eyeing your mother and violating her. I’m sure if Savi had expressed disinterest in engaging with you, you’d never have engaged with her, respecting her decision. Because that is who you are and how you were raised. All your qualities as a young man and as an individual are still intact. There is nothing to be ashamed about,” says Usha.

Kishen looks down, remaining silent.

“I know what is really conflicting your mind, Kishen,” says Manoj sir. Looking deep into Kishen’s eyes, he asks, “You conflicted because you don’t see in your mother the same level of disgust that you have towards yourself, right? After all, she fucked her son. Right?”

Kishen nods.

“Do you know why that is?”

“Why?” Kishen asks.

“Because she is a dirty woman, indulging in sinister incest. She is friends with another woman who doesn’t mind her husband fucking their daughter. They maintain sexual relations with perverts like me, who love being the object of sadistic female dominance. Who loves watching his lover fuck other men. You’re stuck in a company of corrupt-minded sinners that has taken away your innocence.”

Kishen is at a loss for words.

“Tell me, Kishen beta, isn’t that who we are?” asks Manoj sir.

“You don’t have to put it like that,” responds Kishen.

“Then, tell us, how would you put it? Be frank and open up,”

“My mother is the world’s most loving Mom. I have great parents. Usha aunty is the best teacher, Ramesh uncle, You, Neetu, and Deepti aunty, are some of the kindest and nicest people I’ve known.” Kishen says. He realized what he said. He suddenly feels like a load has been lifted off his chest.

“Do you see the bigger picture now, beta?” asks Manoj sir.

“Yes, Manoj sir.”

“No, you don’t actually. You’ve just been shown. And you will need time to ‘understand’ it.”

Kishen nods, not fully understanding what Manoj sir meant by that.

“I will give you another perspective on the matter. People make mistakes, right?”

“Yes, sir. Who doesn’t?” Kishen responds. The group realizes from his response that Kishen is slowly ridding of his one-sided reservations and no more feels ‘blocked’ by their presence.

“Right, so if you are still guilty of having fucked your Mom, consider it a mistake, and don’t repeat it. And you can forgive your Mom for the sake of the many times she’s forgiven you for your mistakes and mischiefs,” says Manoj sir.

“There’s nothing to forgive, sir. I never was angry or judgmental of anyone. Or I may have been a little. But now I see some clarity. I was so angry and disgusted at myself, and on top of that, I felt like a sick hypocrite. I asked myself why I was not disgusted before or while I did what I did and why I didn’t stop myself,” admits Kishen.

“We are not saying incest is good. Most moms and sons, or dads and daughters, or brothers and sisters, or any blood relatives don’t indulge sexually. It very well disgusts them, naturally. Still, it doesn’t make them any good compared to those who do. And it doesn’t make sense for anyone to frown upon consensual incest or sex. Understood?” asks Manoj sir.

Kishen nods slowly, processing what Manoj sir said.

“So you don’t have to fuck your Mom anymore, deal?” says Manoj sir standing up from the bed and approaching Kishen. He extends his hand for the ‘deal’ handshake.

Kishen is momentarily taken aback. Everyone notices.

“The point is, no one is forcing you for anything. Live how you want as long as you don’t harm anyone and let people live how they want. Don’t go judging yourself for all these matters.”

With a shy smile, Kishen shakes Manoj sir’s hand, and everyone applauds. Kishen begins to smile–sincerely–looking at Savi, his dad, and everyone. They all return a smile of acceptance, love and understanding.

But being a former headmaster, Manoj sir knew well the minds of young, impressionable men like Kishen. He knew Kishen would very likely spiral back into his former thought process. Luckily, he knew exactly what needed to be done to let Kishen ‘understand’ what he’d just been taught.

“By the way, will you be honest if I ask you something personal, Kishen?” asks Manoj sir.

“Sure, sir. From what we’ve all been through together, do you think it makes any sense to lie?” asks Kishen.

“Good. Then tell me, when you were in this conflicted state of mind for the past many days, did you masturbate?”

“Umm, yes.”

Everyone passes a mild giggle.

“Why do you do it?” asks Manoj sir.

“I don’t know. When I get to the peak of all these conflicting thoughts, I feel like relieving myself somehow.”

“And what goes through your mind when you jerk off?”

Kishen hesitates to speak but says, “Flashes of everything. What I saw first (part 1). Spicy story of what I heard from my friend (part 2), how I lost my virginity to Neetu (Usha’s and Ramesh’s daughter- part 3), the encounter with you and Deepti aunty (part 5) and the following indulgences with everyone. Above and beyond.)

“Including your Mom?”

Kishen nods, looking embarrassed.

“There is no need to be embarrassed. The human mind is wild, Kishen,” added Sunil.

“Anything else that you fantasize about?” asks Manoj sir.

Realizing that there is no use concealing anything, Kishen reveals further, “I fantasize of including my friend into our circle.”

“Come on, Kishen, we talked about it already,” interrupts Usha.

“Shh…Let him speak, Usha,” says Manoj sir.

“I know we can’t bring them in. It’s just my private fantasy.”

“I totally agree with you, and we can always consider it. But don’t get your expectations high,” says Manoj sir. “Anything else?”

“Well, after I masturbate, I feel guilty all over again, and the cycle continues,” confesses Kishen. “And then I always promise myself I will never indulge with Mom again, if not all of you, and stick to shagging and will lead a ‘normal life’. I worry about facing Mom and Dad, especially Mom. But I also don’t want to hurt them by staying aloof. All this is tearing me from inside.”

“Do you feel better now?” asks Manoj sir.

“I feel a little better, sir. Thanks to you all. And please don’t misunderstand me. I adore and respect all of you. Like you said, I may need time to process everything.”

“Very good. So, I am going to ask you for a small commitment to ensure you process it right,” says Manoj sir.

“What is it, sir?”

Manoj sir calls Savi and makes her kneel in front of Kishen. Seated in the chair, Kishen looks at his Mom, whose face is just several inches away from his groin.

“When was the last time you masturbated?” asks Manoj sir.

“Umm, just a while before y’all came in.”

“OK, place your palm on your mother’s head. I need you to promise something,” says Manoj sir.

Kishen did as instructed. He thought Manoj sir was going to ask him to never fuck Savi again. Kishen’s state of mind then didn’t want anything to do with sex. But he showed hesitance to make that promise. He felt as if he’d surrendered a part of his sexual freedom.

But it appeared he had no choice. A big part of him was disgusted by all of it. Or so he thought. He waited eagerly for what Manoj sir would utter.

Manoj sir: With your mother and all of us whom you consider the nicest, can you promise that you won’t masturbate ever?

“What the fuck?” Kishen’s mind screamed. His heart sank for a moment. But then Manoj sir added, “You may resume masturbating at will only after a while when I say so.”

Taking a deep breath and looking at everyone in the eye, Kishen utters, “I promise.” Everyone claps and cheers.

“Good boy, we’re proud of you. You’ll thank me for this after you witness history repeat itself,” says Manoj sir.

“History repeats itself? What is that supposed to mean? And how long should I have to wait before he gives me clearance to shag?” Kishen wonders.

“Get up, Savi. We’re done here. We will leave Kishen alone now,” says Manoj sir. “Remember beta, live and let live, harmlessly.”

Savi gets up from her kneeling position and leaves Kishen alone with the rest of the group. Before leaving, she gives him a motherly kiss on his cheeks, which assures him that everything is ‘back to normal’ again.

Before leaving, Deepti pinches Kishen on his cheek while Usha runs her hand affectionately over his face.

Kishen had a merry dinner with his parents that night. He’d overcome his reservations and awkwardness, thanks to the circle’s intervention led by Manoj sir. On Kishen’s request, the family decided to watch some TV together before going off to sleep, just like in the old days.

To Kishen, it was reminiscent of the good old days when he was a young boy. He subconsciously wanted to ensure their relationship with his parents (mother especially) was as sweet and intact as before.

Still, he couldn’t remember the last time he watched TV carefree with his parents. Somewhere between hitting puberty, the pressure of studies, and having a friend circle, he’d grown apart from his parents, just like most other teenagers.

Savi sat at the centre of the sofa. Her husband is to her right, with his shoulder leaning on hers. Kishen lay curled up to her left. Her lap pillowed his head which she caressed as the movie played on TV. Kishen felt satisfied that the motherly and fatherly relationship he’d known since childhood was still intact.

“Nothing has changed then,” Kishen thought, “other than the fact that I got a rare initiation into adulthood.”

Days passed, and the family got more merrier than in the recent past. But lust was building inside Kishen, sealed by the promise he’d made to Manoj sir. Being the sincere lad he is, Kishen never even thought of breaking the promise.

But inevitably, his hormonal horniness began to influence his thoughts. It got stronger with every passing day. His attempts to divert his mind, engage in hobbies/studies, roam outside, etc., didn’t seem to help. He began to get horny at every human that had a pussy, including Savi.

He began stealing glances at her curves, hair, arms, neck, lips, eyes, smile, etc. He distanced himself from his sexual goddess, Usha aunty, fearing he might lose control if she came near him. It got to the point that even if the ladies stood in front of him with their bodies covered from head to toe, he’d ooze pre-cum.

On the other hand, his parents, Sunil and Savi, acted in support of his commitment. They, too, refrained from indulging with each other or with others. Not that anyone in the circle indulged regularly. They didn’t want to make Kishen feel left out or trigger his lust in any remote way.

And as ‘normal’ and friendly as everyone was, including the neighbours, Kishen could sense sexual abstinence from everyone. He couldn’t help but think everyone may be abstaining because of him, for him. But he wasn’t sure. He felt guilty on the possibility that he may have become the circle’s cock-blocker.

He wondered what happened to the panty box as there was no sign of it after he made the promise. He longed to smell a random panty from it and shag himself to a pleasant sleep. He wondered if his parents and neighbours were also as horny as him should they actually be abstaining from their indulgences.

His sexual self was going increasingly wild and conflicted. And one evening, charged up by horniness, he decided something had to be done. He barges out of his room to the living room, where Savi and Sunil sit on the sofa watching TV.

“What is it, Kishen?” asks a concerned Savi.

“Are you guys not having sex?”

“Well…not really. But by choice,” responds Savi.

“Why?”

“We just decided not to…”

“Don’t lie, Ma. You’re not doing it because of me, right?”

“No,” Savi and Sunil say in unison.

Unconvinced, Kishen asks, “What happened to the panty box?”

“It’s not with us.”

“Where is it?”

“I don’t know, maybe with Usha aunty, Kishen.”

Kishen storms off the house and knocks on Usha Aunty’s door. Usha is surprised to see Kishen looking rather desperate but driven (by horniness)

“Where is the panty box?” asks Kishen before Usha can speak. He avoids making eye contact with her or looking at her body as he knows he will lose his control.

“Umm, it is not here. It is with Manoj sir.”

Kishen turns around and knocks at the door towards Manoj sir’s flat, which is opposite to Usha’s. Opening the door, Manoj sir sees Kishen with a determined look. And behind him was a confused-looking Usha peeping out of her doorway.

“May I come in, sir?” asks Kishen.

Just as Manoj sir steps back to let Kishen in, Usha sees a concerned Savi approaching from their flat. She signals Manoj sir not to close the door.

Kishen goes and sits on the sofa in Manoj sir’s living room—the same sofa where he witnessed and partook in Manoj sir’s kinky cuckold, BDSM fetish (part 5).

He notices Usha enter the flat, followed by Savi. Sensing everyone’s presence, Deepti (Manoj sir’s young wife), who had been cooking from the Kitchen, enters the living room.

“Where is the panty box?” asks Kishen.

“It’s here, why?” responds Manoj sir.

“Are you all not using it?”

“Not in the recent past…”

“Why?”

“…because we simply are not in the mood.”

“How convenient! You’re not doing it because of me, right?”

“No, as far as I can remember, you alone took the promise, not anyone else.”

“Why is it that the panty box game stopped right after I made the promise?”

“Coincidence, I guess. All of us enjoying a life of sexual liberation doesn’t mean we have sex all the time. There is more to life than that. But it’s something young men of your age will not understand with all the heat you naturally pack. Besides, breaks are always worth the wait. We are charging up, if you know what I mean,” responds Manoj sir with a naughty smile. “What happened, Kishen? Is it getting too difficult to keep the promise?”

Kishen nods admittedly—not embarrassed or shy. Manoj sir delivers a wicked laugh and says, “You haven’t understood the promise. Anyway, since you asked about the panty box, we’re going to resume it.”

He takes the panty box (an empty shoebox) lying in a hidden corner of the living room shelf and gives it to Kishen to hold. He then orders the women to remove their panties then and there and put them in the box. The ladies remove their panties with their hands going underneath their nighties.

They were careful not to show anything to poor Kishen. He noticed they were struggling to conceal their naughty, kinky smile. Kishen couldn’t have felt more helpless in his life. His nose struggled even to get a whiff of any of the panty-smell.

But unfortunately, they were now the forbidden fruits. Meanwhile, Manoj sir went over to his fridge and brought out four cold beer bottles. Handing over one bottle to Usha and two to Savi, Manoj sir looks away and randomly picks one panty.

He sniffs it. “Ahhh, Savi, the smell and wetness of your panty is nothing but heavenly. Are you as horny as your son is?” he says.

Savi gave a nervous chuckle. Manoj sir extends the bottle remaining in his hand over to Usha’s face. She naughtily wraps her lips around it and bobs her head over it a couple of times, looking at Kishen from the corner of her eye. She then pops open the bottle’s metal capping with her firm jaws.

Manoj sir then does something that makes Kishen’s already horny dick twitch. He wraps Savi’s panties over the mouth and neck of the bottle. The wettest triangle patch of the panty—the part that touched her clit and vaginal lips—covered the open mouth of the bottle.

He then bottoms up the bottle, savouring gulps of beer that filtered through the fabric. Kishen couldn’t believe his eyes. He began to pant out of horniness.

“You’re brutal, Manoj. Go easy on the poor boy. You’re testing his limits,” says Deepti. The women chuckle.

“I want to see how well he is able to keep my promises,” responds Manoj sir.

Everyone could see the bulge in Kishen’s shorts.

After a good few long gulps, Manoj sir asks Usha and Savi to give one panty each to their hubbies, along with one beer bottle each. “No panty for you because you promised not to masturbate. But you can have a beer.” He tells Kishen before waving the guests goodbye.

Back in Kishen’s house, Sunil was engrossed watching Titanic on Star Movies. Savi and Kishen returned with two beer bottles and the panty box.

“Aha, God bless Manoj sir. He sent just what I needed.”

“One beer is for Kishen,” says Savi, keeping the bottles on the tea table. She then proceeds to keep the panty box in their room.

“Wait, Mom!” Kishen says.

“Dad, I know you, too, have been abstaining and are probably pretty horny yourself. So take the panty and sniff if you want. I won’t be bothered.” Kishen says.

To be continued. Feedback: [email protected].